Assignments

How do we figure out how other people see us? What are the behaviors and traits of a person who is good at recognizing how others see them?

As individuals, we all ponder on the judgment of others. How we are viewed by our peers, friends, and family may play a critical role in the lives of many. I think that we figure out how other people see us by making ourselves seen. What I mean by this is you want someone to view you a certain way or have certain opinions on you it is not difficult to cater to that person’s desires. For example, if you want to be viewed as a good listener, listen, and reflect on the words and opinions of others in return people will see you as a good listener. In another sense, we can directly figure out how other people see us by observing their behaviors around us. Most of the time you can always tell how a person feels and or sees you by the way they treat you, talk to you, and how open they are with you. Some people however may be harder to read and may not directly reveal how they view you. For example, it is very hard for people to figure out how I see them because I can act very nonchalant. I think someone good at recognizing how others see them has to have an open mind, be willing to recognize their faults, and in all honesty not be afraid of judgment. Also if one is going to recognize how others see them it’s important to be comfortable within yourself and knows at the end of the day who you are regardless of how another person views you whether that be good or bad. Most of the time the way a person views you and their perspective on you is a direct reflection of themselves.

A time in my life where I have chosen to take a chance by speaking up about a problem that I felt was a problem in my community was within my school community. I attended a predominantly white high school. I went my whole life attending schools that adhered to providing a diverse learning environment for the students, to be the only black girl in almost all of my classes. This was definitely a challenge for me and I often failed to speak up on things I cared about. However my junior year of high school I noticed that more and more students started to say the n-word or partake in the cultural appropriation by coming to school with their hair in cornrows or partake in an excessive amount of tanning. In my history class, we talked about many issues facing race, and the racial divide that still exists in America today. I remember one girl in my history class asking me why black faces were wrong. I also recall other girls asking me why the n-word was “such a big deal,” and if artists could use it in their songs why couldn’t they. I also recall students and teachers randomly touching my hair when I gave no consent. Because of these issues, my friends and I knew it was time for people in my school to become educated on black culture, history, and ancestry. My friends and I decided to start up a diversity club that was made to educate people on different backgrounds and cultures. In this club, we also spoke up about the problems in our school community, the lack of education on not only black culture but others as well. My friends and I shed light on the ignorance in the school. This was only a small approach we took to a way larger problem in our school. My friends and I knew we were going to have to do more if we were going to stop this problem in our school. We decided to bring it to the principal’s attention that the school does not participate in black history month. We said that there should be facts about black people said on the announcements every morning. Additionally, we said it is important to have an assembly explaining the origins of the n-word and why black culture is so heavily influential today. My friends and I put together a presentation for this assembly that addressed the issues in our school community by highlighting some of the students’ ignorance. I would say that the assembly went well however, not every student respected our message and proceeded to partake in their old ways. I would say that our speech made people more aware of their actions and the language they chose to use. The assembly for me was very important because I wanted my peers to see how their actions and beliefs can be harmful to those around them. I was also proud of myself because for the first time in my life I could say that I truly spoke out against something that I believed in. Not only was speaking in front of the whole school a big deal for myself but also I had never been given the opportunity to speak about a problem I knew was rampant. It was more than just speaking about a problem but truly making sure that our message was well-received.

In your opinion how true are the following statements about you?

• I generally have a better sense of right and wrong than those around me.
• I am generally more willing to stand up and fight for what’s right than those around me.
• I am as critical of others as I am of myself.

The first statement I would consider to be somewhat true. I have been very independent, smart, and aware of the decisions and things I do from a young age, compared to other children. If today although I am still young I would like to think that I have a good sense of right and wrong for a 19-year-old. The second statement is definitely true. Especially over the last year or so, I am a completely different person than who I was before. Now I am comfortable enough within myself to stand up and fight for what’s right, without fear of judgment. Perhaps me one year ago would not have done this but I can say now I most definitely will speak up and fight for what’s right than those around me. The last statement is not that true. I would say I am more critical of myself than others. Although I am critical of others and myself I tend not to be too critical of others.

Plotting Your Leadership Development

• Ned does not always seem to care about the feelings of others especially when he feels that he is right.
• Ned is afraid of being–or seeming–weak. Or, to put it another way, Ned does not seem comfortable with his status as an outsider/gay man.
• Ned does not seem to be very aware of how he comes across to other people.

These are all traits and behaviors that get in Ned’s way of being an advocate for others. When you are advocating for another person you have to be considerate of that person’s feelings, even if you feel you may be right it is not about you. You have to make sure you are not just thinking about yourself but you are thinking about and considering those other person’s feelings. Ned not being comfortable being gay is also a factor that gets in the way of advocating for others. If someone is not comfortable within themselves it is impossible to recognize and advocate for someone else. Also, I understand that Ned does not want to come off as weak but fro him to not accept himself makes him weaker then faking being someone else. Ned also is not aware of how he comes across to other people. Self-reflection is important especially in advocating for other people. How will you meet the needs of others if you cannot recognize your behaviors?

Just like Ned sometimes my traits and behaviors get in the way of me being a good advocate for others. When it comes to advocating for others I need to work on my patience. It is going to take time to get my message across for the person or people I am advocating for. Things don’t happen overnight as long as I continue to advocate and support that person I can make a difference. I also think my pride can get in the way of advocating as well. Sometimes I have to much pride which can cause me to not speak up for that person. Pride is something that can be good in some situations but when it comes to advocating for others I think pride in an obstacle. One trait I think me and Ned share is being too vulnerable. Just like Ned, I would never want to come off as weak or weak-minded. I wouldn’t want people to be aware of my weaknesses because that can also be an obstacle in advocating for others. Although, it is ok to be vulnerable at times.

So far in my life, there have been only a few times I have advocated for something I truly care about. Like I explained earlier how I advocated for the black community in my old high-school. By doing this it exposed me to my potential. I know now that I can truly advocate for things I care about. However, there are many issues in the world that I am passionate about advocating for. I have not advocated for these issues because I am not in that place in life yet. Prison reform for example is an issue that I am very passionate about. I have written many essays, and speeches on prison reform throughout my academic career however, when I am older I hope to truly advocate for prison reform and make a change. I am still so young so I know I have time to grow as a person to be ready to advocate for such a grave issue. I came to care about prison reform when I was a Sophmore in high school. I started to watch a lot of fo documentaries and started to read a lot of articles on what goes on in the prison system. I learned how prison is mainly about money and keeping people incarnated generates many. Many people who are in prison today don’t even deserve to be there. There are people still in jail from over 50 years ago arrested on probable causes. From learning about the prison system I became very educated on the issues of prison reform in America. It is a system that needs to be done away with and I one day hope to advocate for change. Right now in my life, I am not completely aware of what I can do to become a better advocate for this cause, however, I am willing to look into things I can do to help in any way I can.